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Stopped Cold - 2005/10/25 00:46
Submited by Ben
Monday, December 30, 2002
A couple winters ago I was heading out to a friends house for cards and the associated libations. I met up in town with Dan, and rode with him out there to save gas. John, Dan's stepbrother; and Jamie, the worst driver I have ever met in my life; were about 15 minutes ahead of us, taking the same route. About half way out to Dans house we get a call on Dan's cell from John telling us to look for Jamie, he said he turned with him at the last intersection, but didn't pull in the driveway behind him. So along the way we start looking around to see if Jamie had gone off into the ditch. Think Sno*Drift roads with a good slick ice, and you have pretty much what the roads were like that night. We make the final turn, and I see some tail-lights about 30 or so feet from the road with a nice path leading out to them, Jamies standing there looking stupified. We get out, and I ask him what the hell happened, and he tells us that a deer jumped out infront of him and he pulled out of the way so he didn't hit it. We were about a half a mile from Dans, so he went to his house to get some tow straps. While he was gone I looked around for the deer tracks, knowing that there had to be one in the snowbanks at the side of the road, but I couldn't find any. Dan was back in a few minutes with John, and Johns telling us that Jamie was tailgaiting him most of the way. I came to the conclusion that there was no deer, Jamies that sh*tty of a driver. I kept harrasing him as the night went on and they tried to get his car out. Well, Dan hooked one end of the tow straps up to his Nissan Pathfinder, and the other end to Jamies VW Jetta. I looked around and the situation and knew it wouldn't work. Dans Pathfinder is one of the older, pretty light modles. I told them we might as well just go to town and get my truck, a '95 F-150 4x4 with the 5.8L motor; that would have gotten him out lickety split, then I told them that at the most he was just going to move Jamies car a few feet, plow up enough snow behind it to not be able to move it any more, and be worse off then we were to start. Boy was I wrong. Dan gunned the engine, and the line went taught. With the angle of Jamies car to the road, the ice base on the road, and the "kiddie corner" setup Dan used with the tow straps; much more than what I thought would happen did. Dans car slid sideways and right into the ditch where Jamie first went off at. I burst out laughing. As we're doing this headlight start aproaching and I see its Paul, Dans little brother. He stopped, and I hopped in his car to warm up. Dan kept trying to get his truck moving, only accomplishing burring it deeper into the snow. He asked for sand, so Paul and I drove back to his out to pick up a few buckets worth. John decided at this point he wanted to see what was taking us so long, so he climbed into Pauls Cavaler (red chevy cavalier, white interior, white drop top. Paul says it's cool, we say its the girliest thing on the road) with us for the ride back down. When we get there I see that Dans Pathfinder is now Burried to the wheel wells in the snow, and Jamies Jetta won't run because the snow that had pilled into the engine had melted, re-frozen, and locked the belts, fan and steering in place in a fortress of ice. We see more headlights coming, its a county snow-plow. He stopped and told us that he'd like to help, but they have a policy where they can't pull any one out becuse of insurence plolicies. He said he'd be comming back the other way in about ten minutes, so Paul would Have to move his car so he could get the other lane of the road. Now in most peoples minds this would mean once he's gone, pull your car over on the side of the road he already sanded; but in Pauls mind this meant pull your car as far to the side of the road as possible with the two cars that are already stuck off of the foot and a half berm in the ditch. After being at the side of the road for an hour with a car stuck in the ditch all my friends had been able to accomplish was getting two more stuck. Luckely by that point someone drove by with a truck that had a winch, and was able to start pulling all of the cars out one by one. The final cost for the night (as best as I can remember, it was a couple winters ago).
Time: 3 hours
Nissan: broken tailight (from sliding into a *stop sign ahead* sign on his
way into the ditch), brake line (must have snaged on something on his way
in), tow strap (the end bent during all of his efforts)
Jetta: Grill, radiator, fan, power steering pump, headlight, rim, and a
strut
Cavalier: Lower front body panels, rear shock (for some reason that no one
can figure out he attatched the tow strap to that)
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